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Copyright © 1998-2007, by Tony Dovale. All
rights reserved
Contrary to
common belief, the most effective control over one's life can be gained
in an almost effortless and simple manner. The truly empowered person "has it
together", exudes a glowing poise that is apparent to others. Here are
ten steps whereby you can begin experience empowerment in your own
life.
1. Start
from where you are and take one step at a time.
When you
think about it, that's the only place you CAN start, i.e., where you
are at this moment. Begin with your present perceptions,
understandings, and strengths and move forward, one step at a time. In
this world of objectives, goals and big plans, we often focus too much
on the future with the result that our ability to concentrate fully on
the present is severely compromised. Yet, it is only in the present
that we can make a difference.
2.
Examine your resistance points--the things that irritate you, limit
you, or cause you to react.
We often
resist what we most need to learn. The next time you find yourself
resisting new information, a particular situation,
or something someone else is saying, ask yourself: What is it that is
really bothering me about this? Is there something that I need to
learn?
3.
Recognize that whatever you are experiencing at this very moment is
appropriate to your need to grow.
Implicit in
this "rule of appropriateness" is the concept that there is a larger
plan of which you are an integral part. Until you're willing to
acknowledge the possibility that such a plan exists, you will never be
able to see it!
4. Stop
worrying about whether others are getting theirs!
It's easy
to become preoccupied about what the other person is doing, getting,
achieving, etc. This kind of worrying is useless and wastes time and
energies that are better spent on yourself.
5.
Realize that it doesn't matter what happened to you or who did it to
you; the only thing that matters is what you do about it.
What
happened and who did it to you are in the past. You can't change the
past, you can only change your perception of it. The ONLY thing that
counts is what you do NOW in order to move forward.
6. Learn
to withhold judgment.
To withhold
judgment is to accept what is. How often in conversation do you find
yourself mentally correcting, criticizing, or re-phrasing? when you do,
you risk missing the real message which may not be in the words
themselves.
Rather than
saying to yourself, "that's inaccurate" or "he/she is wrong", try
accepting the statement as simply a representation of the way that
person thinks, feels or what he/she intends to convey. This simple
technique can open up a whole realm of hidden meaning, AND it enables
you to respond more objectively and dispassionately.
7. Learn
to operate holistically by opening up to the other possibilities that
are always there.
There is
always more than one way to solve a problem. You're most likely to get
"stuck" when you foreclose your options by setting up conditions,
demands, expectations, fears, positions and prejudices.
8.
Complete your unfinished business.
Most of us
have "unfinished business"--failures, a relationship gone sour, or a
good deed left undone. Getting beyond ("completing") is not always
easy, but there's a three-step process that, if followed, can do
wonders for your psyche. It's this: (1) Acknowledge the wrong, mistake,
screw-up, etc. to yourself, (2) Admit it to one other person,
preferably the person you've wronged and, in the latter case, apologize
and ask simply: "What can I do to make this right with you?" (Sometimes
there really isn't much you can do, but the simple act of asking is
healing in itself), and (3) Move ON. You've admitted your mistake,
taken whatever corrective action you could, and now it's time to go
forward. This third step takes discipline, but it works.
9. When
faced with an apparently hopeless situation, take action, any action.
There's
something called the "log-jam" theory that applies here: when logs in a
stream become all jammed up, moving ANY ONE log frees the others to
move, because the act of moving a single piece creates space which in
turn allows the other pieces to move. It's important to recognize that
you're not trying to reach a final solution in a single move; you're
simply taking "one step at a time" (Step#1)
10.
Consider the wisdom of doing absolutely nothing!
As with the
rule of appropriateness (above), there's a hidden assumption here,
namely, that we each possess an inner wisdom that is always available
if we know how to tap into it. Call it intuition, spiritual sense,
whatever, the fact is that this "still small voice" is audible only
when we are very quiet. It's a bit like a point in which you can see
the bottom only when the surface is calm and the water un-muddied.
Doing nothing means exactly that: nothing physically, nothing mentally,
nothing at all! The Japanese call it, "kokoro-no-mizu", literally, a
"mind as water" -smooth, flowing and
undisturbed. Try it. It works, and it's fun!
It's powerful!
ends
Namaste'
Tony Dovale
www.lifemasters.co.za for REal team building activities
083-447-6300 |
“Team-spirit is up, Sales are up, Client relationships
are clear, Profits are up!” Bruce Williams- MD Hardware
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