|
We are all bad liars! So get a coach and get honest
today!
Lies, lies and small errors compound over time to equal terminal
results
Humans are meant to be uniquely intelligent, so I thought. If we
are so different from animals, and supposedly intelligent, why do we
continue to do totally unintelligent things to ourselves, and
others, on an ongoing basis? Remember this…a small error in
judgment, compounded over time, will take you out of your life!
Take for example… smoking. Why is it that typically men,
overweight, with high potential for heart attacks, continue to
smoke? Take the example of people who are overweight, are aware of
the possibility of adult onset diabetes, strokes etc… but they
continue to eat like they are at their last supper!
On the business side - take for example managers and leaders who
continue to shout at, and abuse, staff in order to manipulate them
to perform. If shouting and manipulation truly worked, we could
probably solve all of the worlds’ problems in one fell swoop with a
huge shout!
The reality is that all of these erroneous behaviors, compounded
over time, will destroy health, trust, truth and energy, which all
go to affecting performance, results and life satisfaction.
I have to come to the conclusion that all of the above people
seem to be outstanding liars!
They lie to themselves about the true consequences of their
behaviors. They lie about the consequences of their robotic choices.
They lie about the true effectiveness of their current behaviors.
They lie… they lie… they lie! And why do they lie? I believe they
are weak, lazy and very… very short sighted!
I know that you, reading this right now, have never done this
before. You are much too astute to allow small errors in judgment to
compound over time, and risk terminally affecting your life or your
business.
As a Resilience and Energy coach, my intent and approach is to
get my clients to clearly see the consequences of their original and
current behaviors, make intelligent decisions about constructive and
desired results, and then action them on a consistent basis in order
to get more effective behaviors, and thereby more desirable results.
I have a friend, who after having had a stroke or two, angina
sand panic attacks, etc… is still overweight, continues to eat junk
food, continues to create stress levels high enough to slay a
dinosaur, and continues to smoke 40+ cigarettes a day. Is he stupid,
naďve, lazy, weak – or does he just not care? Why doesn’t he change
his behavior? What is his challenge really? Is he short on
willpower?
On the similar vein - Why doesn’t a manager/leader, who’s not
getting positive sustainable results with their shouting and
manipulating, change their behavior to something more appropriate
and positive?
Are we just like robots, programmed to repeat old patterns and
behaviors until something terminal happens before we make more
positive changes and install more supportive mental programmes?
Extensive research reveals that more than 64% of people leave their
“manager” or superior, and not the “company”. So why don’t
managers/superiors and leaders change?
People usually leave because of the unhealthy behavior and attitudes
of their immediate superiors. It’s that small error in judgment,
which compounded over time, has caused them to leave. It ends up in
a terminal event - often a big loss to all sides.
I recently worked with 2 senior HR teams in a large local
organisation. Two of these managers had continued to use angry
outbursts and shouting as a way to manipulate their subordinates.
They didn’t really see their behavior as manipulation or too
destructive. They claimed that they had “NO Control”, and that they
just reacted and got angry. They claimed that their reactions were
out of their control. How pathetically ineffective and weak can you
get?!
Whilst extensive research into Emotional Intelligence reveals
that the emotional part of our brain reacts substantially faster
than the logical aspects. We know that it is still possible to
intercede in the urge to emotionally explode, and manage the
emotions and direct the energy in a positive and constructive
manner.
If you don’t consciously intervene and mediate, you end up having an
intellectually intelligent man with a great IQ, but with the
emotional maturity and control of a 4 or 5 year old. The problem
with this undirected behavior is again… that small error in
judgment, compounded over time, will take you out of your life, and
maybe even your relationships and business.
After coaching these two managers on their consciousness levels
and thought-viruses, they have been able to create and sustain
really transformational shifts that are impacting their business and
personal lives for the better, as well as their subordinate’s lives
too. They now see that they do have control to redirect their
frustrations and anger into more constructive and productive
avenues.
Think about behaviors and actions that you may perpetrate that
are destructive to your health, or your
staff/relationships/business. If you are aware in some small way of
the negative impact, why have you not made a shift for the better?
Wouldn’t any intelligent person make the small adjustments, so that
over time, they compounded to transform your life and business for
the better? What prevents you from changing for the better?
What one thing do you “do”, that if stopped, would positively
alter your life forever? Do you smoke? Eat to much, avoid exercise,
explode uncontrollably, have a negative outlook or focus, constantly
undermine yourself?
In reality it seems we are primarily unconscious, biological
robots, with mental programmes running 95% of our lives, most of the
time.
And unless you decide and act in a manner that enables you to
make incremental adjustments, which will compound positively over
time, you may inevitably create instances and experiences that are
far from your ideal - like cancer, angina, diabetes, emphysema,
heart attacks etc…
So here is my life coaching suggestion for this merry month of
December. Make a list of your actions and behaviors that are not
constructive to your business or your life. You DO know what they
are! Stop kidding yourself! Maybe you’ve just been deceiving (lying
to) yourself all along. Time to show up with integrity. As your
coach I expect you to be honest!
Either, get a coach to support and hold you accountable, or
enlist the support of a buddy with whom you will contract to make
positive, sustainable adjustments that are for your highest good.
Next, agree on a “penalty” that you will pay/forfeit if you break
your word or break your agreement… i.e. Lie to your support buddy or
coach what you have promised to do.
I suggest choosing something significant that you own like your car,
house, hi-fi, TV, CD collection, or most prized piece of jewelry,
etc… Select something that you value highly and would feel
significant “pain” if you lost it. This will become your
accountability prize.
So the agreement with your buddy / coach is quite simple… as long as
you stick to your commitments/ agreements to make the incremental
positive changes, your “accountability /penalty prize” is safe. The
moment you break your agreement, your accountability prize is to be
permanently donated to your support buddy! Yikes!
I hear you… But…Do you really choose to make those behavioral
shifts for the better? Then try this radical leveraged approach –
Willpower on its own has proven to be a poor and ineffective
solution in creating sustainable positive change. Otherwise we
would all be fit, slim, healthy, happy and wealthy, and keep our
news years resolutions.
So the next time you see somebody close to having a heart attack
because they are clearly an excessive smoker or really overweight,
get a good look into their eyes, and check with them what asset they
value most. You never know, you could just be the one to be able to
help them, help themselves, to save their own life.
You never really know what you can do until you give it your best
shot with a buddy/life coach.
Trusting that, just for a moment, you will stop deceiving, and
lying to, yourself long enough to truly see the consequences of
those small errors in judgment, compounded over time… and hopefully
make the decisions and incremental positive changes to irrevocably
enhance your work and business life for the better.
Time to get honest, get real, get a coach, and get clear on your
destiny if you don’t make any changes to your life direction, and
then make some positive life changing choices today.
Remember… a small error in judgment, compounded over time, will
take you out of your life a lot sooner than you plan.
Namaste’
Tony Dovale
Chief Alchemist and Energy Coach.
www.lifemasters.co.za
083-447-6300 |
“Team-spirit is up, Sales are up, Client relationships
are clear, Profits are up!” Bruce Williams- MD Hardware
Distributors
